


May be a Problem

by lmc_TicDonPete



Series: Conversation [3]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depressed Peter Parker, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Protective May Parker (Spider-Man), Protective Steve Rogers, References to Depression, Sad, Sad Peter Parker, Suicidal Peter Parker, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Worried May Parker (Spider-Man), Worried Tony Stark, may parker - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-18 12:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16994898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lmc_TicDonPete/pseuds/lmc_TicDonPete
Summary: May was just a worried aunt, wishing nothing but the best for her nephew, who always only think about himself. May was done. Either she left, or he did, and she wasn't all for going out and living in the cold.Peter tries, he really does, to take care of May. But sometimes, when he comes home, doesn’t even say hi to her, won’t eat her food and doesn’t take the time of day to have a conversation with her, he realizes just ho selfish he really is.





	May be a Problem

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this installment, as a part of my 'Conversation' series. Today, May and Peter.
> 
> Warnings:  
> -Suicidal thoughts  
> -Implied Suicide  
> -Suicide notes  
> -underage drug use  
> -mentions of overdose

“So, how is it?”

”It’s good.”

”Good? Just good? Come on, Peter, I spent, like, two hours on this!”

”I didn’t say it was bad. It’s good.”

”You aren’t even eating it, hun. Just tell me if it’s god awful, it won’t hurt my feelings.”

”No, really, May, it’s not bad.”

”Than why aren’t you eating it? You’ve had three bites in the last twenty minutes.”

”Not hungry.”

”Oh please, you used to eat mountains of food without a problem.”

”Yeah, well-“

”Besides, don’t you have to eat a lot? Something about a super fast metabolism? Isn’t it not healthy to not eat a lot, in your case?”

”Only... only sometimes.”

”Oh, Stark didn’t tell me that.”

”He must have forgotten.”

”Mhm. A little weird though, dontcha think? He hasn't called in awhile. God, this is good.”

”Yeah, weird.”

”Glad we agree. Anyways, how’s school going?”

”You can check my grades yourself.”

”Woah, defensive much? What’s wrong, honey?”

”Nothing, just tired.”

”Oh, well, go to sleep early tonight, sweetie. Also, I meant drama, not grades. What’s the deets, kid? Any relationship drama? Anyone caught eating each other’s faces in the bathroom?!”

”Ew, and, uh no.”

”Really? Nothing! When I was in high school, there was drama everywhere! What do you guys call it nowadays? Tea?”

”Mhm.”

”Well, there was boat loads of tea! Boston Tea Party level, Petey-Pie! It was absolutely crazy! But, then again, there weren’t as much rules back then as there are now.”

”I guess.”

”I remember how all the popular girls used to fight against each other to see which one got the guy’s heart, when there was literally hundreds of other hot dudes they could go after. It was so stupid.”

“Sounds it.”

”What about you, kid? Are thousands of girls hounding over you? Are you constantly getting sent love letters from a ‘secret admirer’ when it’s really just like, ten rich girls trying to get in your pants?”

”I’m not a part of that group of people.”

”Oh, what part are you a part of then? I always thought you’d be popular.”

”I’m a loser. The kind you’d stuff inside a locker- which has happened on multiple occasions.”

”Oh, that’s never fun. I always assumed you’d be a little more...”

”Cooler? Yeah, me too.”

”No, no. Not ‘cooler’ per-say. I just don’t take you for a person to let themselves be bullied.”

”It’s not like I ask for it!”

”No, I know! Just... seems a little odd. You’ve always been so confident and sure of yourself. I wouldn’t take you for a pushover. A door mat."

”That was a long ago, before everyone wanted to stuff my head inside a locker and slam the door.”

”Apparently so. Why don’t you tell somebody?”

”And be known as the snitch in school? No thanks, May. I’d rather suffer.”

”It’s not that bad, is it?”

”He almost ran me over with his car...”

”What the- that fucker!”

”It’s fine, May. It’s okay, I said almost.”

”Doesn’t change the fact that he could have killed you! This guy sounds like a real asshole!”

”Yeah... he, uh, is.”

”What was that, honey?”

”Nothing, just talking to myself.”

”Oh, okay. So, what else has this freak show done to you?”

”Nothing that bad. Calls me ‘Penis Parker’, slaps my ass sometimes. Throws me in lockers and gets me in trouble. Calls me names. Humiliates me.”

”No nephew of mine is going to be called ‘Penis’ all through high school!”

”You’re a little to late, May. He’s been doing in since elementary school, same year Ned and I met. When we actually learned what a 'penis' was.”

”Wait until I get my hands on him, he won’t be able to walk, I’ll make sure of it! I didn’t even know kids in elementary school knew about penis’!”

”Just leave it, May. I can handle it.”

”No one can handle being bullied for eight fucking years Peter! If it happened in third grade and you’re a sophomore now! He’s a disgusting kid and needs to be punished for messing with you all this time! Stand up for yourself! Stop being a chicken.”

”Don’t say anything please, May! I don’t want him knowing, I’m fine! And besides, if I let you go rough him up, I wouldn’t be standing up for myself! You would!”

”Fine, but I swear if he even looks at you wrong I’ll shove a knife right up his uptight as-“

”Don’t finish that sentence.”

”Sorry, forgot you’re like, five.”

”Sixteen.”

”Oh, Petey! You should have told me sooner, baby!”

”It’s not a big deal, I take it and no harm comes.”

”Maybe not to him, but it does to you.”

”What do you mean?”

”Well, it doesn’t hurt him to bully you! You’re the one getting hurt!”

”No I’m-... no I’m not.”

”Peter Benjamin Parker I am not blind! I can see how docile you’ve become, so closed off. I’m starting to really become worried.”

”It’s not because of Flash.”

”Flash? That’s the kid’s name? Sounds like a dork.”

”Mm.”

”See! There it is!”

”What?”

”The short, non-committal answers. I know the real Peter. The one who’d do anything to blab on about anything and everything for hours on end! Now, you don’t talk unless someone asks you a question, or initiates a conversation.”

”Maybe that’s a good thing.”

”How? I love your little rants, makes you sound smart, and you look so cute when you’re angry.”

”Don’t you get annoyed. My flipping voice droning on for hours about stuff no one gives a damn about. Not to mention how squeaky and high it is. I’d kill myself if I had to listen to a voice like mine for hours.”

”I’m sure everyone else loves listening to you.”

”Ha, you think? They hate me, hate my voice. Hate whenever I start talking ‘cause then I can’t shut my trap.”

”Don’t talk like that, Peter. You don’t annoy anyone.”

”Like Hell I don’t! Literally everyone is better off without hearing my voice going on ‘til they fall asleep! Because everyone just loves a chatter box! You probably hate my parents for forcing you to take care of me!”

”Sit down, Peter, please.”

”No! You want me to talk more? Well I am!”

”You need to calm down, sweetie. The neighbors will hear and get angry.”

”I don’t care! I really fucking don’t! Because of I wasn’t here and you didn’t have to pay for my greedy ass you could move out of here and not have to deal with pissed of neighbors! I’m useless!”

”Peter, honey, please just sit down and we can talk about this.”

”No, no, no, no, no! You don’t understand! I shouldn’t be here! You’re better off without me! Mr. Stark’s better off without me! Hell! Even Ned might have better friends if I wasn’t around to weigh him down!”

”You don’t weigh anyone down, sweetheart. We all love you more than you’d ever know!”

”And that’s great! I appreciate it! But I’m nothing. Nothing. Aunt May, I’ll never amount to anything, I’ll never be special. I’ll live out my life and then die. There’s no point in living, May. No p-point at all.”

”Don’t say things like that, you’re making me worried, hun. Come one, just sit down on the couch, okay? I’ll get some ice cream, turn on a movie and grab a bunch of blankets. You can talk then, and it’ll all be okay.”

”N-No. No it-it w-won’t. I’m-I’m trying t-to stop my-myself f-from thinking, but i-it’s not work-working...”

“You don’t need to stop your thoughts, hun. You just need to talk through them.”

”No, they-they n-n-need to st-stop. If I-I let th-them con-continue I’ll d-die.”

”You... you won’t die, Peter. What do you mean?”

”B-Bad tho-thoughts. Nee-need to get them o-out before I-I hurt myself.”

”Peter, honey, no. Don’t say that, okay? You’re gonna make me cry, Petey-Pie.”

”I-I’m sor-sorry, so s-sorry. I’m s-s-selfish and st-stupid and cruel t-to y-you. I-I need to le-leave.”

”No, no you don’t, honey I promise everything will be okay.”

”N-no, it’s n-not ok-okay. I-I was... I was gon-gonna do i-it after din-dinner. M-May I’m sor-sorry.”

”It’s okay, you’re okay, just talk to me, okay? Tell me what happened? What were you going to do?”

”I-I was go-gonna ta-take p-p-pills, May. I-I want-t to die.”

”Shhh, sweetie, it’s okay. It’s me, Aunt May, okay? You're in the apartment, okay. We’ll be fine, everything’s fine, alright?”

”No! No, I’m s-selfish and m-me-mean and des-deserve to d-die, M-May, please!”

”I told you Peter, everything's okay. It's May, right? Good ol' Aunt May. Okay? Do you understand?”

”Mama... Mom probably hated me. ”

”No, no, baby. She loved you more than anything else in the entire world.”

”M-May, I-I-I want t-to die! P-Please don’t l-let m-me die.”

”I won’t, Peter. I promise I won’t let you do anything bad to yourself, okay? We’ll talk to Ned, and Tony, and figure something out okay? This isn’t... this isn’t alright, Pete. This is bad.”

”I-I know.”

”You said you were going to-to do it, tonight. You were going to overdose, correct?”

”Y-yeah.”

”Okay, alright. You’re okay, yeah?”

”I wr-wrote a n-note in case yo-you didn’t re-reach me i-in time.”

”I-... where is it?”

”I-In my-my bedroom.”

”Okay, I’m taking you out of here, okay? We can visit Tony for a few days, maybe. I think we need a little vacation, dontcha think? I’ll ask Tony, and we can talk about this.”

”I don’t wanna t-talk.”

”It isn’t an option, Peter. This is serious.”

”I w-wanna die.”

”I know, hun.”

”Aunt May?”

”Yes, sweetheart?”

”I want to die.”

Peter’s eyes were so incredibly wide, they scared May half to death. The hollowed out look, that was usually full of sunshine and such passion, was now nothing but a shell. Peter was a shell. The way he would Kermit himself away in his room for days on end, only leaving for school and bathroom breaks was heartbreaking. May knew it was bad, but she didn’t know the full extent.

He had been struggling, for so, so long and she hadn’t been able to help him. She had seen the signs and dismissed them as teenager problems or a phase. If she had ever known how bad it was, she would have shot herded in the foot for being so foolish.

Peter was going to kill himself if she hadn’t been there. If she hadn’t forced him to come eat dinner with her and pried the tears and frustration out of him, he’d be dead. He’d be foaming at the mouth, lips blue and eyes filled with nothing but darkness. Peter would be laying on the bathroom floor, skin as pale as snow, heart unbeating. 

And it would have been her fault.

Surely Tony, Ned or even Mj could have figured it out before her! He had all these friends who he considered family and none of them noticed in time! Peter should be dead right now! Dead!

He wanted to die, so desperately wanted to leave. Peter wanted to hurt himself because he thought he was worthless and unwanted, but to May, it was quite the contrary.

She should have noticed when he started to look... different. The way his hair was constantly matted and how he wouldn’t even try to get the knots out, to the pint where May thought they’d have to shave Peter’s head bald. The way his skin turn a sickly pale, and his bone protruded against his blue-tinged skin. He was simply awful to look at, and she had done nothing about it.

No one had.

Now, if Peter was planning on offing himself, May knew he could never be alone, ever. He was unstable, his mind wasn’t right. And while May knew that sounded dark and wrong, it was the truth. Something was wrong in his bright and brilliant boy. Something has been wrong for over six months, and she’s never noticed. It was crazy how such a  happy boy could go from one hundred to negative ten in such a short amount of time. It was scary, if May thought about it.

Now she has four overdue taxes to pay, and one suicidal nephew to watch.

Life was going just peachy. But, she supposed Peter had it much worse.


End file.
